Monday, February 1, 2010
A few weeks before Christmas, I decided to wear my Granny's wedding ring that she gave me a few years ago. I wasn't able to see her during Christmas this year, so I thought that I would wear a very special piece of her jewelry to remind me of her during the Christmas holidays. So, I put my own wedding rings in my jewelry box to hang out with so many other pieces of precious jewelry that my Mom and Granny had given me over the last 20 years.
Nestled in the jewelry box was a ring that my Mom used to wear as her own wedding ring. It was a diamond cluster ring, not too big or fancy. I remember it being on her finger when I would lay across her lap as a kid and ask her to scratch my back with her long beautiful nails. Also in the jewelry box was the first ruby ring my Mom gave me. I was probably in 7th or 8th grade and she bought me and my 2 sisters matching rings for Valentine's Day. It was a little gold band with five gold hearts across the top with 5 little rubies in each one. When I would remember, I would wear it on Valentine's Day to remember my Mom.
The first diamond ring my Granny ever gave me was in that jewelry box. My Granny loves sparkly jewelry. One year when I was in high school, my Granny decided she had too much jewelry and she gave it all away to her kids and grand kids. The piece I got had nine diamonds in it in the shape of a diamond. It looked perfect on my hand.
Over the years, my Granny continued to share her treasures with me and my daughter. She gave Mackenzie her first gold ring. It didn't fit, but she was sure to grow into it one day. She gave us gold bracelets, diamond earrings, and the irreplaceable list goes on.
Besides the wedding rings that I had taken off to wear my Granny's, the first wedding set that Rick gave me was also in that treasured jewelry box.
Can you see where this story is going? It was all STOLEN! Taken by someone that has no heart. Taken by someone that has no thought of what it meant to me. Someone that has no comprehension of what it means to love and be loved. Taken by my sister-in-law..........
January 16, 2010 I went to put my Granny's wedding ring back into my jewelry box and get my own out. When I opened the box to put it in with the other memories that shared it's home, it was empty. Gone. Nothing left. My heart sank. I panickly opened my other jewelry box, and it too was empty. Gone. Nothing left. I cried out for my husband and he came to my rescue with no reasonable explanation as to why my treasures were taken. First came tears, then shock. Third came anger, then grief. Fifth came POLICE!
I had to sit and remember what was missing so I could make a list for the police. With each remembrance came more tears. I felt like a family member had died. You see, to me when you can see someone and touch them, and talk to them, it makes them more real. You can look at that person and memories of good and bad can flood into your mind. My treasures made me remember my Mom. They made me remember my grandparents. It made them feel like they are not 2500 miles away. They made me feel special.
I didn't idolize the jewelry. Actually most of the time I would go months without seeing it or opening up my jewelry box. But, it was there if I wanted a memory. It was there if I needed something that I could physically see to remind me of their love for me. It excited me to think I would give it all to my daughter and future granddaughter.
Neighbors saw her at my house during the holidays. They saw her in my driveway when we were away for the day with friends. She could have had a key. She had driven our car before and I wouldn't doubt that she had an extra key made. I have seen her over the past few months wear MY clothes. She said they must have gotten mixed up in her laundry when she stayed at our house a long time ago. She also said that we do shop at the same places and they aren't even mine. Funny how mine was missing...
There is no way to 100% prove that she took my treasures. Even though a family member has said she received a check from "Cash for Gold" within a few weeks that my treasures went missing. My friend and I spent a whole day scouring pawn shops in the East Bay area...
Nothing. Gone. Stolen!
The hardest thing I had to do was call my Granny and tell her everything she had worked hard for me to have was taken from me. I was so heartbroken. But, being the loving, forgiving, beautiful person she is, she told me something I hadn't though about. She said that the jewelry was material possessions, and that not having them couldn't take away the memories that I have in my heart. She said that I need to love the person that took them from me and continue to pray for her salvation.
I am definitely not there yet. I am still angry and hurt by her. I will not let her hurt my family again. She is no longer a part of our life. Maybe one day I will be able to pray for her.
Praise God, I still have my Granny's wedding ring!
Monday, November 16, 2009
I have been wanting to post something fun for a while now, but I have not had any inspiration. How could I not have any inspiration when I have two kids that keep my on my toes? How could I not have any inspiration when the Lord has bless me tremendously with great friends? More so, how could I not have any inspiration when I have an awesome God? I'm still wondering...
We went on a trip to Southern California for a week at the beginning of October. We stayed with our friends and had a wonderful time with them, as usual. After 7 days there, Rick and I left our kids in the desert ( even though leaving them in the desert sounds nice sometimes, we left them with our friends) and went on a 3-day cruise to Mexico. The cruise was great. Mexico was ehhh, Ok-ish. The time with my husband was AMAZING!
It was fun to dress up and have nice dinners.
We spent some time out by the pool even though it was a little too cold to get in.
We went to a few comedy shows, played a little bingo, and ate a LOT of food.
While Rick and I were living the good life on the cruise, the kids were staying with our friends riding their dirt bikes, playing with the dogs, and chopping firewood.
Not too many big brothers would help a sister out by flat-ironing their hair for them. But, most of the time he is bugging her by changing the t.v. to what he wants to watch, or telling her to go get this and bring him that. I swear he thinks we had her to be his personal assistant!
I really don't know how to put my thoughts and frustrations into words, but all I can say is it is hard. It is hard managing homework and grades, youth group and gymnastics, tests and projects. The list goes on. It's even harder when "someone" isn't honest about their school obligations. It's hard to not be appreciated by your kids, after all you do for them, out of obligation or out of love.
At times, I question my ability to parent. Am I too hard on them? Am I too laid back? All I can do is give what God has given me...Grace and Mercy. And hopefully everyone will make it out alive!
During some of my most desperate times, I have found these scriptures comforting. It's hard to put my hope in something that is uncertain. The uncertainty being that they will turn out to be God fearing, Jesus loving, giving not receiving, adults.
I pray that they grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord. 2Pet 3:18
Because Jesus keeps them safe, the wicked one does not touch them. 1Jn 5:18
I thank you Father that Your Word prevails over our children. Acts 19:20
I say they are obedient, not conforming to the things of the flesh. 1Pet 1:14
Monday, September 21, 2009
friends mom was still there, the boys approached us
and asked if they could go "Ding Dong Ditching". To
some, the phrase is known as "Door Bell Ditching".
All three of us adults immediately said no, but they
kept insisting that Rick could even join in on their
adventure. They reassured us how harmless it is, but...
The answer was no.
They kept asking, so I finally said OK. On one condition.
They had to tape a scripture to the door of the house
Well, that is all they needed to hear. They ran into the
office and started looking up scripture. Of the 66
books in the bible, and the thousands of verses, they
came up with one that said something about laying
a bull on the alter to be sacrificed.
We told them they had to be encouraging and uplifting.
Of course they turned right to Psalms. They also got
a few from Romans.
And off they went..."Ding Dong Ditching Disciples"
running through my quiet little neighborhood at
9:00 PM. Four scriptures were handed out that
night. At one point, a guy came out of his house
and the boys started running yelling, "Look on your
door, just look on your door!"
Who knows, you might be the next victim of the "Ding
Dong Ditching Disciples". If you are, please know that
Christians have fun too!!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Yesterday was a rough day for me. Mackenzie is having a hard time adjusting to her new life as a middle schooler, so I get a call from one of her teachers to talk about some concerns. That was the first part of my sadness.
Our new dogs have developed separation anxiety over the last week or so. They have already chewed a hole in the door molding of the laundry room door that comes in from the garage. I get home from work and find that the dogs have clawed holes in the screens on two of the windows. That was the second part of my sadness.
So my curly headed son is laying on the bed next to me after this overwhelming, emotional day. We are both laying on our stomachs, and he puts his face near the back of my hair and takes a BIG sniff. "Mom," he says. "There's this girl at school. She has blond hair, and it smells AMAZING." I turn to face him and I ask, "does it smell as good as mine?" And he politely says, "Maybe even better".
Friday, September 4, 2009
I love her. I've known her all of my life. At one point, she even saved my life. But as the years have gone by, things have changed from the days we used to play in the dirt together. They have changed into days, weeks, months, and even a year since we have spoken. Time is going by so fast and I feel hopeless about our relationship.
How did things get this way between us? In my mind, it is because she has always made everything a competition. She has always tried to "one up" me...in beauty, in money, in success. She has never been content in her own life. I have and I think that kills her. But there is one MAJOR reason for that...Jesus Christ! I have Him to give me all the desires in my heart. I don't look to the world to give me happiness. Psalms 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." I have never desired worldly things. I have always wanted a healthy, happy family, and a safe stable home for my husband and I to raise our children. The rest of what I have are all pure blessings from my faithful Heavenly Father.
Growing up, we never had the best of anything. My dad worked, my mom stayed home with us kids, and that was that. I was happy. I was content. I realized early on that if my parents had it to give to us, they would. She was resentful. She wondered why everything wasn't equal and fair. She didn't understand how our parents went through different circumstances during the different time that us girls were coming up. Why? Why were you resentful? Did you not know that our parents loved us? They would have done everything exactly the same for each of us if they could have. No one is perfect. Especially in raising kids. You have to let go of the past and make it right with your own children. ok, see...I told you no editing. I went from writing 'about' her, to writing 'to' her. FOCUS! "Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. Isaiah 43:18-19 (The Message). I really wish she Believed. I pray for her. I wish she would let go of the past and focus on what great things would happen to her if she would accept the blood that Christ spilled for her. Great things...great things will happen for her, I'm sure of it. She just needs get out of the drivers seat and lot God take control.
We are supposed to be best friends. That's what sisters are. Why aren't we? What can I do to make it right between us? I have pride that overwhelms my body sometimes. I know I can start by getting rid of it. Humble myself. Call her. I've done it before and she didn't answer. I felt anger. I felt like I was trying to reach out and she closed the door. What if I call her again? What if she answers? What will I say? My heart is beating harder at just the thought of having a conversation with her. Why? Satan! He has put doubts in my heart that I have listened to for too long. I want to talk to her. I want to ask her so many questions. Why? Why have you let everything go? Why have you hurt yourself? Why have you quit caring?
What needs to happen is: "He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30
This song by Chris Sligh is perfect. "Empty me of the selfishness inside, every vain ambition, and the poison of my pride, and any foolish thing my heart holds to..." I couldn't have said it better myself, Chris!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I told her that in our house we only say uplifting things to each other and if we don't have anything nice to say, then we don't say anything at all. Of course we all have our days where we fight with the ones we love and say things that we regret, but to just say mean hurtful things for no reason does not go over very well with me. Not that there is EVER a reason to say mean things...you get my point...I'm sure! I was just trying to make a point to her that mean words like that can go a long way, and they can really make someone feel bad about themselves and question their identity.
Jonny diaz sings about this so well in his song "More Beautiful You". This is my favorite part of the song.
So, go tell your kids just how beautiful they are. I tell my sweet girl Mackenzie just about everyday that she is the "Prettiest One".
Monday, August 3, 2009
I get to work and my boss eats chips at 8:30 am and rattles his bag and crunches his food like a horse eating hay.
My husband is clueless to the things I do that makes our family run properly.
Grown adults depend on their parents to function.
I Get Happy When...
My kids make good choices.
I get to sleep in.
I go on road trips with my husband and kids.
My husband gives me a back rub without asking for additional "favors".
I spend time with friends.
My mom comes for an unexpected visit.
I hear my Granny's voice.
I think about the price Jesus Christ paid for wee little 'ole me!!
"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17